You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you. These words of Augustine describe well my own life before Christ and after. The search for meaning of life and the quest to find my own identity have been two major motivating forces in my life before I became a Christian. The fact that I would not fit in the society and could not imagine myself pursuing any of the vocations that I knew of (I was raised in a non-Christian family, and those were the years under rough communistic regime in Lithuania) caused me to sink into the deep mire of depression. But once I accepted Christ as my Savior, the sense of peace was overwhelming. I knew that I had found the very purpose of my existence, and there was no doubt that preaching the gospel to others was my calling. In fact, I was so glad to find one vocation I did not hear before, namely a minister of the Gospel. Contrary to many of my peers with whom I came to believe in Jesus, from the very beginning of my journey of faith I was convinced that God was calling me to become a preacher and him willing a pastor of the church. I recall one instance after the prayer meeting (we used to pray every morning before going to work) when one of my friends began sharing that he was not sure about his vocation. Should he dedicate himself more to preaching in the church, or should he commit himself to painting and arts. My reply was unambiguous, “We are ministers of Christ and we will be preaching the gospel.” I was 22 at the time and just two years in the Lord, I knew very little about different callings of God and thought that everyone has the same calling. Of course I was wrong, and yet there was no doubt, at least as far as I was concerned that God wants me to preach. Part of sovereign God foundations in preparing me for ministry even before I became a Christian, was to have me realize that there is nothing in this world that would really satisfy me. I was a stranger in the world and thus very unhappy. Another significant part of his sovereign foundations was love for reading. My mother was a linguist and her efforts to pass unto me the love for books were not in vain. Being just a teenager, I already had a very big interest in literature and philosophy. Later those skills were essential in preparing and enhancing my gifts for ministry. As an openly professing Christian I was not able to continue my studies at University in Vilnius because of communistic ideology. Yet I was educating myself and in a year or so I could read Christian literature in English without a big stress.

There were many affirmations from different people about the calling of God in my life. I remember one of the trips to another republic of Soviet Union. Our church elders would take us, young believers, to churches bigger than ours to get a feel of broadness of God’s work. In one particular meeting I was overwhelmed by God’s presence and clearly heard him say (the impression was so strong that it seemed that I heard God’s voice with my physical ears) that I should give a testimony of my conversion. I resisted and refused to obey because of fear – I’ve never been before in a church of several hundred people and could not think of myself standing before them and giving my testimony. The time of the meeting was over and I was still fighting with God in a pew. A pastor who was supposed to end the meeting announced that because of God’s presence he wants to extend it for one hour. The first person that gave his testimony pointed with his finger to the place where I was sitting and said, “I sat there one month ago and was afraid to come here and give my testimony. If it is what’s going on with you, do not be afraid, obey God’s voice.” I ran. As fast as I could. “It’s me, it’s me. You are talking about me,” I said and with a broken voice began telling the story of my conversion. The impact of my testimony was big. Bishops, pastors and elders have gathered around me and prayed. They prayed that God would use me in bringing his word to others in power, that his eternal purposes in my life would be fulfilled. I left the altar a different person. The day I accepted Christ brought peace to my heart in terms of salvation, that day in that Lutheran church brought peace to my heart in terms of my vocation. I was to become a preacher. Experiences such as this would occur from time to time. Yet it were not these outside affirmations that pushed me to share the good news with others but that inward sense of satisfaction when sharing the Good news with others, that deep desire to see them changed by the power of God’s word and brought into the Kingdom of God.

 Developing God’s gifts in ministry

I would preach short sermons in an underground Pentecostal Church, the member of which I became shortly after my conversion. The elders of the church recognized my gift and kept encouraging me to study the Scriptures and to boldly share my testimony with others. After joining the newly founded The Word of Faith Church in 1988, I became actively involved in street preaching as well as leading mid-week teaching services. When the founding pastor of the church left to live in another country, the elders of the congregation were in agreement upon me becoming a pastor. Again, in my own devotional times I had sensed that the Lord was leading me to assume the position. One of the significant passages in the Bible that was greatly encouraging me and affirming the call to pastoral ministry was from Acts 5: “They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. The apostles left Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ.” (Act 5:40-42) At the time with Communist Party in power Lithuania’s future was still very obscure. Christians were persecuted for their faith, and pastors were the primary target of KGB. I had already been taken by KGB and threatened to be put in jail unless I quit preaching on the streets. My fears and uncertainties were pushed away by the words of this passage in Acts. I took the words of this passage as a command of the Lord and, just as the apostles, I never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news publicly as well as privately since. From the time I became a pastor of The Word of Faith Church in Vilnius, the attendance has grown from a few dozens to nearly a thousand. The evangelistic efforts have resulted in planting of 38 churches in Lithuania. In fact, The Word of Faith Fellowship has grown to be the largest evangelical network of churches in our nation. I’d say that our ministry today is respected even by most severe critics. Recently I was sent an article from a magazine in which a prominent catholic priest, describing the growth and ecumenical spirit of our movement, respectfully recognized my leadership.

One of the gifts that has evidently been bestowed by the Lord to me is that of a pioneer. By God’s grace I have been a kind of trailblazer in various areas of the ministry. (No doubt the specific historic time in our nation – gaining the independence after the 50 years of Communistic regime – plays a big part in that as well. I became a pastor the same year as Lithuania declared its independence from the Soviet Union.)

In 1991 I have initiated the publishing of a newspaper, which to this date is the largest Protestant/Christian newspaper in Lithuania. That was the beginning of The Word of Faith Publishing. Since then nearly seventy Christian books have been published. Among them there are such titles as Martin Luther’s The Liberty of a Christian. Of course, our most notable work in this field was the release of the Lithuanian Bible in one volume. It has to be mentioned that up 1996 there were no Lithuanian Bibles in one book that could be read in modern language. Having acquired the permission to edit the translation prepared by a Lithuanian Methodist pastor, a chairman of Lithuanian Evangelicals in US, we published the first edition. It turned to be the first edition of the whole Bible published after the Second World War in Lithuania. Two more editions of it have been released since. A few years later the Bible software was produced by our church and to this day it is the only one in Lithuanian language. Being a member of our editorial staff I have a regular column in our newspaper The Shepherd. I have written seven books, most of which have been translated into Russian and two into English.

In 1993 I became a founder of a Christian School, which to this date is the only Protestant/Christian school, licensed by the Ministry of Education and run by a local church in Lithuania.

In 1996 I founded the TV program Cornerstone. First it was aired on TV channel that reaches the city of Vilnius. As it grew, more TV stations became available. At present approximately 2/3 of the nation is reached with Cornerstone. According to statistics at least 30.000 viewers are constantly watching the program just in Vilnius.

My mentors

There were not many mentors in my life. I grew without a father. I would not trust teachers at school because I felt that a communistic propaganda was a lie. Then I got saved, and Christ became my Mentor. While attending underground Pentecostal Church, I developed quite close relationships with one of the elders, who, though not bearing the title, actually was a youth pastor. He mentored me through informal apprenticeship and imitation modeling. I remember his sincere tears. He would cry, while speaking about the love of Christ. His sermons in church were anticipated. He prayed fervently. He knew how to encourage. His sincere faith and love draw me closer to my Savior. He was my first human mentor indeed.

Another person, I probably could call a mentor, is my friend Gabrielius. We’ve known each other for almost 20 years now. It was Gabrielius, who first preached the Gospel to me and mentored me in the basics of faith. He came to Christ 6 months earlier than I did. We both attended the Pentecostal Church and both left it in order to join The Word of Faith Church in Vilnius. We would go together to evangelize first his friends and then mine. We both shared teaching sessions in my mother’s apartment, while still being underground Christians. At the beginning of The Word of Faith we used to split a service in two halves: Gabrielius would preach in one and I in another. When I became a pastor in 1990, Gabrielius became my assistant, “a second pastor” church folks would call him. Nevertheless, God taught me many things through him: I learned that people are valuable; that every opinion matters, even the one of the smallest member of the body. Gabrielius has been an example of a Christian who does not care about the things of this world. Every conversation with him is about another world, about the Kingdom that Christ builds.

Probably, I should mention my third mentor, Kaleem Shadid. He works full time for Samaritan’s Purse in Boone, North Carolina. We became friends and co-workers through Operation Christmas Child. The Word of Faith Church is coordinating the project in Lithuania. When I shared my intentions to get a theological training in the United States, he became my counselor. It was through him, that I learned about TIU. He helped me through the process of admissions and even organized the MAT test for me in Vilnius. (Actually, I was the first Lithuanian to take MAT in the University of Vilnius.) Kaleem’s gentle spirit is great refreshment to my soul during my studies here, at Trinity. Our frequent chats on the phone usually focus not on the mundane things of life, but on the trends of modern theology. His commitment to the advancement of the Gospel as well as his temperance in all things affects me deeply. I want to have the same passion for God.  

Personal Spiritual Growth

I would like to end the reflection on my leadership story by commenting how my personal growth has been affecting and developing my ministry philosophy. The space of this paper does not allow me to give an in-depth account on how my view of God and myself has changed in 13 years of my ministry. There are so many things to talk about, so many aspects that have undergone changes. I’ll have to be very laconic.

My conversion was very dramatic. In a matter of few weeks I changed from a depressed youngster who had never been to church to a fervent witness of Christ, who tried to convince everybody to go to church. Anyway, the God that I met in my first prayer was all about power and truth. From that moment I knew that God really exists, that he has power to save one from his deepest sins and that in Him one can find meaning in life. It would take time for me to realize that in my conversion experience I encountered and was overwhelmed just by a few of God’s eternal attributes, namely his omnipotence and omniscience.

Then, I became fascinated by God’s fatherly love. I accepted the invitation of the apostle John to behold “how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God.” (1 Jn 3:1) God was my Father, and I his beloved child. I knew that my sins were forgiven (1Jn 2:12), and that whatever I ask in prayer believing would be mine (Mk 11:24). It was all about getting from the One loving me. Getting in the name of Jesus. And I got a lot.

However, I was still not satisfied. Probably no one will, being himself in the center. God’s gifts would not make me completely happy. I just knew that there was something more. More than getting. I decided that this something must be about doing. Doing for God. The words of the apostle Paul made a lot of sense, “I am a debtor both to Greeks and to barbarians” (Rom 1:14). I felt obligated too. Possibly, I was at the same place where once Count Zinzendorf stood, when, gazing at the masterful piece of Crucifixion he was stunned by the words beneath: “I’ve done this much for you, but what have you done for me?” I was haunted by the question. If Christ gave so much to me, can I do less for Him? So I tried to “pay my debt” by renting the biggest auditoriums in town, preaching my best, organizing Conferences, inviting well-known speakers from abroad, advertising the “power” of the Gospel, then counseling and teaching those who came to Christ. At that point in my ministry, I think, the center shifted a little bit from me towards God. I was His servant, He – my Master. Yet, still it was my abilities, my performance that counted.

What I am up to in my relationships with God at present? I want to become his friend, I guess. Just like Abraham, who believed God and was called his friend (Ja 2:23; Isa 41:8; 2 Chr 20:7). Or Moses, to whom God spoke “face to face, as a man speaks to his friend” (Ex 33:11). Can anything be greater and more meaningful than being a friend of God? At the end of his ministry on earth Jesus made it very clear to the disciples that he wanted to have a deeper relationship than that which usually exists between a lord and his servants. “I no longer call you servants…I have called you friends…” (Jn 15:15). Could it be that this is our greatest calling? To obediently carry out a lord’s commands is one thing, but to respond to a friend’s requests is altogether a different thing. The former requires just the careful fulfillment of a command. In the latter, it is not the commands that matter – it is your friend himself. If a servant does not obey, he will be severely punished. If a friend does not respond, he hurts the heart. Being close to my Savior, sitting at his feet as Mary, the sister of Martha, leaning on His chest as John, is my biggest desire. “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…” (Phil 3:8).